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It’s time for us to begin listening to what ASD people are telling us – with our hearts, not our ears. Our Aspergers / Autism Spectrum children have a message for us – and it’s not about what they need from us, but about what we need from them as a planet: a new paradigm. The autistic revolution is here.
What is your ASD child telling you?
1. How to follow your passion! Your Aspergers / Autism Spectrum child understands better than anyone how to follow his / her passion. Why? Because ASD people don’t have a choice! It’s the only thing that brings them true joy. To us, it may look like an escape and it quite possibly feels that way to your child – an escape from the pressures of the neuro-typcial world in which they are forced to function.
Your child has an innate knowledge of his or her purpose here. It calls to him / her and s/he can’t be happy unless s/he follows that call. Ask yourself how many people you know who love what they do for a living – who would do it even if they didn’t need the money? If you’re like most of us, you don’t know many. And yet, autism spectrum people were born that way!
2. How to live less in “ego”! If your ASD child is like most, s/he is probably not the, “Me first, me first, me first!” type of kid. Yes, autism spectrum people need what they need and they demand it, but it is seldom based on what everyone needs. Their needs come from within.
Most of us neuro-typicals want to get ahead, and this is something that starts at a very young age. When I say “get ahead”, I mean ahead of everyone else. We measure our level of success as compared to others – our peers – and from there decide if we’re doing ok or not. Most people on the spectrum are not like this by nature.
3. Follow your inner guidance! This is something we must understand about our ASD children if we want them to find true happiness. Your Aspergers / Autism Spectrum child’s inner voice is much louder than the voice of the outside world and s/he can’t switch this off in order to get on better in the neuro-typical world.
For most people, we have the inner voice but we allow feedback from the outside world to override it. In other words, if the inner and outer do not agree, we take the outer as “truth” and adjust the inner to match – or just turn it down in order to get by.
If we truly want to understand our children on the spectrum, it is vital to recognize that ASD people are not able to do this – at least not very well. Their inner voice is their truth – period. Trying to get your child to ignore that inner voice based on outer feedback the way most of us do is damaging.
4. How to revitalize yourself by going within! If your ASD child is like most, s/he has a vivid inner world where s/he goes to re-energize, process things and simply be. This is an “alternate reality” for the Aspergers / Autism Spectrum person and is crucial for his / her wellbeing. (Going into this inner world may be a sign that your child is becoming overwhelmed.) Often, the child will begin to “stim” (repetitive, odd-looking movement or motion) while s/he is there or s/he will stim in order to get into that place.
Many parents want to train their ASD child away from this particular habit because, 1) The “stim” leads to social issues because it looks odd, and 2) the “zoning out” can cause problems in the classroom and similar situations.
Certainly help your ASD child learn to control this “zoning out” so that s/he can better learn when and where it’s ok to do it. At the same time, it’s imperative to accept that your child needs to be able to switch over. It’s crucial for his or her well-being, so please don’t try to stop him or her doing it altogether!
Your Aspergers / Autism Spectrum child is magnificent! S/he is a part of the autistic revolution that is beginning on this planet. ASD people are showing us the way forward by demonstrating the changes we need to make in our global consciousness. They are showing us the new paradigm by their example. We would do well to follow!
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